Lard had somewhere to be. It just wasn’t home. The Sulcata tortoise, weighing just under 100 pounds, escaped his fenced yard in Littleton on August 31 and headed out to explore the neighborhood.
According to the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office, Animal Control Officer McMullen responded to the wandering tortoise. Lard’s owner was already there, but getting him to turn around wasn’t going well. The sheriff’s office described his outing as having “big travel plans and absolutely no sense of urgency.”
His owner wanted him headed home. Lard kept choosing the other direction. Eventually, Officer McMullen and a bystander lifted the nearly 100-pound escapee and carried him back home.
The sheriff’s office shared bodycam video of the encounter, showing that some animal calls require less chasing and more heavy lifting.
Watch the bodycam video below.
SUSPECT ATTEMPTS WORLD’S SLOWEST ESCAPE 🐢
On August 31, Animal Control Officer McMullen responded to a report of a wandering tortoise in Littleton.
Meet Lard: a Sulcata tortoise weighing just shy of 100 pounds, with big travel plans and absolutely no sense of urgency.
After… pic.twitter.com/mVexKeaHzx
— Jeffco Sheriff (@jeffcosheriffco) September 25, 2026
Source: Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office, via Denver7.
