Larry Ulibarri’s Out-of-This-World Discovery: Are Gay Male Flight Attendants Secretly Gayliens?
Denver morning radio legend, blogger and podcast host, Larry Ulibarri, has always been known for his entertaining bits, parodies, interviews and deep connections within the people of Denver. But recently, Larry stumbled upon a conspiracy theory that’s truly out of this world. According to sources close to Larry, an astonishing number of male flight attendants are not human. Specifically the gay male flight attendants. They’re actually referred to as Gayliens. Extraterrestrial beings with a plan to take over Earth with the help of the illuminati.
The Gaylien Conspiracy
The idea might sound far-fetched, but several of Larry’s sources claim that the sheer number of gay male flight attendants around the world is no coincidence. These Gayliens, have been infiltrating airlines globally, using their charm and impeccable service skills to blend in seamlessly with human society.
Larry’s husband, who well call Javier, a flight attendant himself, has heard the rumors from his colleagues. “We joke about it on flights,” Javier said. “But the more I hear, the more I wonder if there’s something to it.”
The Illuminati Connection
Denver International Airport (DIA), infamous for its bizarre artwork and conspiracy theories, plays a central role in this tale. You all remember the big rainbow on that strange mural right? Beneath DIA, there’s rumored to be an alien world where a select few humans are chosen to interact with the Gayliens. These select individuals, often high-ranking members of the Illuminati, are believed to be working with the Gayliens to prepare for an eventual takeover.
Larry has interviewed numerous celebrities and political figures. From Snoop Dogg to Barack Obama, but it was during an off-air conversation with a local politician that he first heard whispers about the subterranean Gaylien base. “They said DIA’s underground tunnels are not just for baggage handling. There’s a whole world down there,” Larry recalled after he was given full DIA access from Javier. “They have vast caverns and immense bunkers filled with everything the modern day gay male flight attendant requires. Such as high end retail, gyms, skin care doctors and gay bars. A ton of gay bars! The aliens undergo a rigorous training regime to do everything they can to blend in with the LGBTQ plus community and society at large.”
The Gayliens’ Ultimate Plan
According to conspiracy theorists, the Gayliens don’t want every human to die or anything like that. They just want to redecorate all the homes of humans with questionable taste and offer wardrobe ideas. Their plan is to create a new society composed exclusively of people with a lot of drip, riz and overall fabulousness but ruled by Gayliens. This might sound like a plot straight out of a sci-fi novel or an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, but believers are convinced there’s evidence to support these claims. Larry has been in contact with that Ancient Aliens guy with the big hair but no word back yet. “We believe that they want to introduce straight men to moisturizer and ear hair trimmers.”
Javier has noticed some odd occurrences on his flights, too. “I’ve seen passengers who seem a little too perfect, almost like they’re not from this world. And there are certain signals between the flight attendants that I never understood until now,” he said. When asked about the fact that he himself is an openly gay flight attendant Javier vanished into thin air.
The Future of Humanity
While this conspiracy might seem unbelievable to some, Larry Ulibarri is determined to uncover the truth. “Denver deserves to know what’s happening beneath our feet,” Larry said. “Whether it’s a joke, a myth, or a real threat, I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”
As for the Gayliens, their presence continues to spark debate and curiosity. Are they here to help humanity evolve, or do they have a darker agenda? And what exactly qualifies as good taste? Only time will tell.
In the meantime, Denver’s residents can look forward to more revelations from Larry Ulibarri, the guy who’s not afraid to dive deep into the world of conspiracies. Larry remains the voice of Denver, keeping the city informed and entertained. And who knows? The next time you board a flight, you might just be served by a Gaylien.
